Wednesday 3 November 2010

Archbishop? - Jumpy little fellah all psyched up!

The Scandal Archbishop 
'And, it came to pass.................!


Llandaf Diocesan Conference

That did it! That blasted 'Llandafchesterchronicles' blog......... Once again he flew into one of his pre rehearsed rages. Working himself into a tremendous 'Castro' type rant - a bowl of soap suds. Never has an Archbishop mastered the craft of delivering such lengthy hypnotic froth. As Scottie used to say in 'Star Trek' ' He canne take it much longer Cap'n.'

A medical orderly sitting there might have looked at him and suspected that there stood a man in need of a full strength Diazipan. Archbishop Barry needed to be convincing and seamless, but then a closer inspection and you discover he said almost nothing. Typical Castronian. No sound is so sweet to this 'jumpy little fellah' than the sound of his own voice. 'Calm down dear, its only the boys having a bit of fun.'


Master of hypocrisy.

Surprise, surprise! Archbishop Morgan seems to be making pro - language interventions by adding his name in an open letter to the Heritage Minister' calling for more powers to be given to the Welsh language. To most of us, who are more cynical , it is probably just another ego manic ploy at being sucky - sucky. As in 'please Dave, send me to the House of Lords.'

Meanwhile, this 'Top cultural figure' (Stop laughing - Dailypost 5th Nov) has imported into his Llandaf diocese a personal chaplain from Australia, Suffrigan bishop from Yorkshire and a female Archdeacon, (Giggles) from Southark. All of which are non Welsh speakers. Details of which were of course censored in a recent article written by columnist Glyn Morgan in the 'Llan' Welsh Church Newspaper. Just the tip of the ice burg under the 'Von Morganmeistr's' cultural leardership. Effectively he should qualify to be the Archbishop of China! - but dream on brethren.

Barry Morgan heads a church where only two out of seven bishops are fluent in Welsh. Not one Welsh cleric was apparently good enough to be appointed as the new Dean of Bangor. Oh yes, this hypocrite may seem to be a leader in command of his tribe, brimming with confidence, telling the rest of us what to do, but is he a little too pleased with himself, whilst the infantry go unrewarded?

One suspects that all this is but a desperate attempt to salvage some dignity from what has turned out to be an episcopate and archepiscopate of irretrievable and monumental balls-up.

Bangor punishment block - 'Stalag 13.'

Newly appointed Archdeacon of Meirionydd Andrew Jones came in for of some light spanking on the Radio Cymru - Gwilym Owen Show on 'All Saints' day. The only impressive performance he gave was his usual ozone-puncturing hypocrisy and self importance. To cap it all he now hopes to be elected on to the 'Provincial Disciplinary Tribunal of the Church in Wales'. A measure of humility would not go amiss from this swarmy little pratt.

Like wonder bra, providing full support, Jones endorsed the controversial appointment of the Bangor Diocesan Ouango Queen 'Thoroughly Modern Millie', as the first ever woman Dean of Bangor, a non Welsh speaker - 'The best one for the job,' so he claimed. Pull the other earing pal - it might have a bell on.

As an appeasment to the natives for her lack of Welsh the new Dean is provided with a sponge man in the form of Rev Tegid Roberts ( Capt Manering). Nice one! A huge rise in salary and no responsibility, (the milky bar's are on me). The next major task will be to find something for him to do.

As Dean, Modern Millie will, no doubt, be singled out for punishment. First impression will be the coldness of her manner, since she appears to radiate little human emotion. A tidy and 'defensive' mind, she meets questioning into her private life like a car park barrier greets vehicles arriving at the entrance. This lass is a one woman gunboat Not much is known concerning a certain period of her history, other than her boyfriend, whom she followed to Wales, who is an avid 'Teddy Bear' enthusiast. Ah..... problem solved.

Like the bishop, 'Modern Millie' is no doubt a 'Von Morganmeistr' robot, and it is not difficult to understand why supporters of the current Archdeacon of Bangor find her expendable. During the last electoral college in Bangor she attempted to pass fizzing hand grenades to her colleagues to prevent him being elected bishop, whilst her pierced ear accomplice on the outside, briefed the press against him. She used to shrivel like an oyster squirted with lemon at the very thought of him becoming her boss.

No invite for him (or the Teddy Bear Prof) to her 50th birthday, which, it is rumoured, included a sleep over in Llanbedrog -'How pleasant a thing it is, when brethren dwell among each other in unity.' Never mind 'Professor' , Millie would have been in a safe pair of hands.

The forthcoming 'Royal Wedding' thought to be in early spring , following which William and Kate are expected to be residing in nearby Anglesey, is it not high time that 'Prof' and 'Dean' made honest idividuals of one another? How splendid! Just imagine,' Cathedral Wedding Bells' - another 'Cathrine Cookson' best seller.

Is Millie a bully? The 'Enforcer' fears that she may be. Best avoid the one way system near the Cathedral after dark.

10 comments:

  1. We have omitted the most obvious point from all of this... seen as the author of this is most clearly has an axe to grind with the diocese of Bangor, why omit the Archdeacon of Bangors social life (seen as you have mentioned the Archdeacon of Merionydd and the Dean designate)?

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  2. We are disappointed, (as will 'His Darkness' be)that your eye for detail is left wanting concerning the two Archdeacons.

    The point being, whilst one has a clean professional bill of health, the other remains convicted of a most heinous crime and sin, save that, of exhibiting his nuts and untensils in a public place.

    Ref? 'Church in Wales Historical Cases Review 2009/2010.

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  3. I see... you mean that one archdeacon caused an outrage in the muslim community by being so stupid as to publish an image of Mohammed, whilst the other did not?

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  4. Oh dear, it seems that we have touched a nerve. Did someone slip a 'Mickey Flinn' into your elevenses? Or perhaps a squirt of 'Yul Brunner' hair growth tonic? Nite nite x x

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  5. Philip was thrilled to receive a 90th birthday gift in the form of a tip-off from his little man in Llandaff.

    Knowing how much Philip missed learning what was really going on in Wales after the Chronicles closed, he hoped this Blog might provide some welcome relief for him now that he has decided to "slow down".

    He was enthralled, as will be many others he says, and hopes he can again keep abreast of what is happening in the Principality and what would have been part of our Church had it not been for disestablishment.

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  6. The Enforcer writes:

    With interest, the blogger observes the discussion between (for the sake of reference and the benefit of readers) Anonymous One and Anonymous Two, in relation to the comparison drawn by them between the infamous convicted, once married, cottaging Church in Wales Archdeacon with the former Archdeacon of Bangor Meurig Llwyd.

    It is obvious that Anonymous One regards itself as a kind of 'Defender of the Faith' who has an 'axe to grind' with former Archdeacon Llwyd recently appointed to the distinguished post of Vicar general to the Bishop of Europe,

    Anonymous One, consumed with rage and camp style jealousy, towards his former colleague will remind the Enforcer of someone, when in a tight spot, flushes like a thunder box and who has stoked the boilers for a long brood. The mere mention of the professionally squeaky clean former Archdeacon, and then, 'wallah', the rubber band snaps, and, smoke, so it seems, suddenly appears from Anonymous One starboard engine. Depends of course, which side of the recliner Anonymous One happens to be lying on at the time.

    As advocate, Anonymous One's defence of the cottaging Archdeacon reveales a seemless and evasive piece of work the Enforcer has seen in many moons. The future looks promising. Although, for all its fluency and vim, the Enforcer is mindful that Anonymous One sounds more like an annoying little prat with an almost residual tendency of manouvering up colleagues noses like a doctor's nostril swab.

    To conclude, the Enforcer notes that Anonymous One declares itself shocked and appalled by the 'stupidity' of former Archdeacon Llwyd for accidentally and unintentionally offending the Muslim community in 2006. Ghastly stuff indeed -off with his head!. A nun confronted by a priest displaying his nuts in a public playing area could scarcely have been more aghast.

    Well tried my friend. You must have been a milky white yoghurt in a previous life. We recommend ten hail Mary's. and continued use and careful application of the 'Yul Brunner' hair growth tonic.

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  7. The Enforcer writes:

    Dear Ma'm
    What joy and hnour to hear from you.

    Your visit to our capital last week at the opening of the Welsh Parliament aroused much interest. Rumour has it that your husband was overheard to comment that Her Majesty was not the only Queen in attendance.

    The whole nation will have applauded your dignity of being able to keep a straight face when introduced to the two colourful and exited characters on the end of the front row. Rarely in the affairs of men have two people richly deserved one another.

    This in mind, along with Diazipan Dave gagging for his ale and a leg of lamb, it seems our Parliament, at such moments, knows few bounds.

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  8. Dear old Phillip, he is such a case. On Twitter it claims that he had asked one guest whether 'The Mumbles' was a train, and to another,if His Grace's next publication will be entitled 'Wynne in the Willows'.

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  9. Wow! what a relief! until this moment, reading your blog, I had come to believe I was the only one in Wales who had seen through 'Father' A C-Jones and the ice-maiden and wondered many times why no-one else could perceive that the lunatics appeared to have taken over the asylum! Am SOooooooo glad to discover it is NOT me who has lost the plot or, to be more precise concerning these two clerics, has never seemed to grasp what it's really all about in the first place, bless 'em. Thank you!

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  10. The Enforcer writes:

    Dear Anonymous

    You will note that the 'C' in 'Father' A C Jones' initials is of late. Presumably an attempt simply to divert enquiry. He has always been registered as A Jones by the Church in Wales and also Llandaf Magistrates Court and the Probation Services North Wales.

    Meanwhile, an agent has been employed in an attempt to hack and block the domain for this blog.

    ReplyDelete